going back

seriously i now realized that my life in Kuching is waaaaay so different than my life back at home where i was with my family. 
i really wished i never had to go back here to Kuching. my life here is boring!
back at home (Mukah), i forgot that i had another life here. for a moment, i forgot everything. 
i forgot Kuching, i forgot that i hold the ***** college's student ID card. 
i forgot that i know this guy that i have relationship with that has to be kept secret. (which is now remained as history that never should be remember of!)
i just forget everything.
i really wished . . . . *sigh*
but now, i'm officially back to my life in Kuching.
ugh! i miss my brother, Luis. he brighten up my day.
Lord, could You please remind me each day that i'm doing this for the sake of my parents and my future?
Could You please pull me up whenever i am down and be there whenever i feel ignored?
Could You please let me know that there is still somebody who actually cares about me?
Could You please let me know that i'm worth more than everything else in this world and that i am too Your special creation?

sometimes i wondered, if anyone ever noticed me. 
hello? i'm martina. and you are . . ?
" i am patiently waiting for the best things to happen in my life "
when? will there be? don't let me get tired. please?