HOI MACAM SIAL!

pergh! kimak! bodo! baghal! keluar lah semua benda jaik dr mulut aku tok.
shit. how dare you try to messing up with us!? apa punya jiran la. sekolah x tinggi! ada hati mok anok org! haha! ugh. manas eh. macibai. sepak pintu kamek org oh? eee, takut ku aieee.. mok main kasar kah? sial.
okay, i was all alone this morning, but i swept all the dirt on floor. for sure and i never swept any dirt to the front of your door. okay. pahal kau mok manas bai? madah kamek org pemalas indah. cibaii laaa. kau ingat kau bagus gilak diam dalam umah tok? pemalas kamek org xda x sapu depan ya, and more importantly kamek org xda jaik bodo sial mok mampus sapu sampah depan bilit kau dua bini kau ya! sepaloi paloi kamek org tok, kamek org jenis yang considerate ngan org dalam rumah tok, xngaco hal kau pun. mun ada nok kau x puas hati, tegur bagus-bagus la, baghal! kau mun x dapat mbak ilek ngan hal tok, kau boleh pegi mampus, mun mok skali ngan bini ngan newborn baby kau! sial! kau ingat kau sepak pintu bilit kamek org tok, kamek org xda mak bapak kah? setannn! 
family aku keluarga bait-bait ok. and just so you know, our families is not like one you are buliding right now. if you can't keep your temper low, you better kill yourself la. because with that kind of temper you have, you are never going to be a good father to your children. your first son is the proof. that's fact number one.
fact number two, you better live deep in the forest somewhere near the Kalimantan, because you're a bad neighbour. you tend to get mad when you are . . mad.

x hal, sabar jak lah! Jumaat dah chow dari Kuching! babai la jiran terchenta. hahahah! next year kita xkan bjumpa lagi. kirim salam saja tu penyapu sama penyedok yang salu kamek org pake ya.
ada hari kau ya, hari tok boleh gik kaki kau ya nyepak pintu bilit kamek org, tggu esok lusa. 
sial. muka macam pilak! perange kedak setan. oh btw, as to your beloved wife, you are a grown up woman la, please la. you should have a heart to heart woman-girls conversation with us. how could you let your husband get mad at us like a mad man. or you were the one yang jadi batu api? hebat kau duak laki bini oh. standing ovation aku bagi.
x dapat kah kau klaka bagus-bagus ngan kamek org? choiii la. coba mun kamek org tok pun jenis nok pemanas juak. coba la mun pemanas jumpa ngan pemanas.
esok lusa kau sepak gik la pintu bilit kamek org ok. di alu alukan.
sepak jak hari hari sampe new year. 


*haha, yes, i'm mad! cursing at someone. we were a bit panicked. shit. geram aku pikir hal tok. jangan ingat kamek org tok mpuan nya boleh anok sebarang. jangan ingat kamek org takut ngan kau. kau cermin lok dirik ya. yes, we are chicks, doesn't mean we are scared of you!
udah2 gik nyumpah ya, abis kureng berkat idup aku. anyway, bless you!


*okay updating on what had happened today. kawan ku dua orang tek tserempak ngan nya. x juak nya gago mok anok! sial. and oh, jauh palis la hal2 macam tok gik. xmok gik benda tok berlaku dalam masa yang terdekat tok, since x lama gik mok pulang. haha.

Dilemma

that's it, i've made up my mind, i'm going to apply myself at UNISEL.
i know it's a bit late now, since i'm now in my 3rd semester. but what's the point if i can't do well in what i'm not good at? i'm good in English. *cough. um, maybe not too well. but at least it's the subject i can score at.
but here's another thing that's bugging if i ever quit to continue to Unisel - my Mara loan.
i hate bugging my parents with this problem of mine. ugh
i look through my pictures in my laptop, then i saw this screen shot of programmes that i had saved, and i saw the course i'm interested with, and the fee cost only RM13.5k.
fcuk! way cheaper than my current course. *snort* and the course duration, and i did other comparisons too.
then that made me thinking, that i'm going to apply myself in Diploma in TESL, and will quit if i ever got accepted (and if my dad would let me) and yeah, age been bugging me like hell, since my other friends are now either graduating diploma or taking degree.
okay so now, i officially say, FUCK AGE! haha, i'm going to further my studies no matter what.
for now i need to pray and ask God to give me signs whether this is the best for me.
it's the month of rosary prayer, and i have not pray once. pathetic. i got my rosary with me, but i never pray. gotta spend some time pray. and ask for signs. 

if it hurts

i'm completely lost. i'm all about that peer issues. seriously.
i don't know la. or maybe it was just me.
i'm very silent these few days. i don't talk a lot, especially to this one friend. *sigh
she were speaking as if i'm invisible, and that she can see right through me.
i even start to wonder if i'm alive. last time, they were planning on an outing. they just planned on without hearing from me. 
but i know i won't be left alone, and i know how awkward it would be if i go out with them.
and thanks to my other friend who's staying at the hostel, at least i got company.
and the day were just me and her. we went to other place without THEM.
i actually almost gave up, you see, as in my previous post, i'm not happy. 
for now, i can't seem to turn to my so-called friends room mates. 
can i blame them? or should i blame myself?
to be true, i'm not angry, not pissed, or hurt at all. i just don't understand them.
seriously i'm worried. 
i don't know why and what is the point of being worried.
i'm too a bit frustrated being treated like this. imagine, we have the same class and i waited at the college, sit all by myself with headphones stuck on my ears looking at people like an idiot for two hours for class to start as well waiting for them to come but they didn't. and what makes it even worse is that i know it from a friend and i weren't inform of their absence by themselves.  great. just great.
what's the point of keeping my number then if they didn't even bother to text me and tell me anything about it?
yeah, i'm frustrated. but no, i'm not pissed, just frustrated.
thanks, for the hint-like. i got it. my previous post is linked to this post. it's related.
that's why i googled for uni's and colleges and jobs last night.
gosh, i don't know how long can i put up with this.
i need signs. i need someone who can inspire me, someone who has the aura of uplifting my spirit. i need someone who can speak to me and tell me something good.
lately, i've spent a lot of my time alone and thinking to myself.
*sighh..lotsa thoughts running..

i sighed a lot

sigh..
geez. do i need to sigh first?
i'm having a lot of issues lately.. student's life..
gah.. oh ya, i've wanted to post something since last night, but blogger isn't being nice with me last night, idk why. it really pissed me off.
anyway last night too, i googled for my future. geez.
i looked through somebody's pic, suddenly i got interested with Civil Aviation.
and i tried googling for related courses in aviation.
and i found UniKL. and i found courses like Diploma in Aircraft Maintenance Technology,
Diploma of Engineering Technology in Aeroplane Maintenance.
but the requirements failed me. sigh..and geez, Aviation?? woot! so so so not me.
and suddenly, i remembered of my cousin in Unisel. so i googled Unisel, and look through its courses, and of all courses, i got interested with Diploma in TESL. okay this one fits me. well, since i favorited  English language (though i must admit that i'm not super good with my English yet) and the requirement fits me. 
but then, lots of thoughts came running my mind. sigh..
if i applied there and got accepted, then i have to start all over again as junior. damn, i'm not getting any younger and i have to start again? my other friends now are either already hold a diploma in their hands or taking degree now, and on the other hand, i just started my first semester taking diploma at the age of . . . grrr.. ohhh. geez.. where have i been all this time? what have i been doing?? sigh..
then, i thought of my dad. i really pity my dad. even though he worked in the government sectors doesn't mean we can live well now without all the money problems, i really don't want to burden him with my problems. you know, flight cost, study loan agreement and lotsa other documents. if we're rich, . . .
sigh.. money again. it's always about the money.
sighhh..
restarting all over again won't be a problem, but the money . . hmmm..
a lot of consequences i have to consider. 
i just not only browsing for studies opportunity, but jobs also in government sectors.
hmmm.. i know i've not been a very pious person. who am i anyway..
i seriously care about my family, my mom, and my dad especially.
i really don't want to add any more money problem to them.
for now, i wish my younger siblings study well, and make sure they don't follow the footsteps of mine, i really hope, right after they got their results, they won't delay their times of continuing their studies. that's my prayer. i hope God would hear me this time.

CBA

ugh! i'm sooo not in the mood of doing this so called college homework!
i hate it. i'm doing homework for Etika Profesional @ Professional Ethic. well, this subject is not too hard to study, but i seriously began to hate this subject, or maybe the lecturer for giving this nuisance. 
well, thanks a lot, because i hate it very much.
i've started doing this homework since this afternoon, and i haven't finish it yet.
out of 10 questions given (only asked of giving definition) i only finishes 3.
and i have to submit it tomorrow.
well, the lecturer didn't really asked the students to submit their work, but i feel obliged to submit it. and the morning class, ugh! i seriously hate this subject now!
i really got the CBA. a severe form of laziness! >:(
CAN'T.BE.ARSED

AGAIN

again, i did the stupidest, craziest, coolest, thing. i just removed someone from my list. 
yeah you tell me. whether it is the nicest thing to do or instead. i saw his post just now on my news feed. then i thought of removing him. ah-ha! tink! OR, better yet, *a light bulb lighten up-just came out with a much brilliant idea* BLOCK him . geez. i sound mean.
huahuahua~ like i give a flying eff! :p
oh, before i became a forgetful me, he has another FB account. mm, that one i'll just let him pass. but sometime later i would remove him too.
uh oh. somebody here is having an issues! ;) i never wanna to talk to him ever again.
*girl, you are really having an issues right now*
what the heck?! HAHAHA, since FB is a part of my life now *cough* only 1/8 part of me, so, i need to quickly remove him from my life even he rarely go online. 
well, he's too annoying that i lose my focus.
anyway, there's always rainbow after rain. *is it raining here? someone has started to feel blue? :/ 
gah! there's nothing to be sad of. hey, *chin myself up* this is me. i know who i am. i know guys like that don't worth my time. at all! remember when i said, "he is just something to keep me busy" and i'm not that textually active person, so i don't even care if my phone doesn't ring for the whole month! seriously!
HAHA, no joke man. i'm dead serious about that. try me.
mm, oh ok, i'm ready for bed time now. good night all you stalker.

okay another post

i just flipped through my besties @ my long time childhood friend's Friendster profile. 
she's been inactive for quite a long time. well, who doesn't. i too have been inactive for a long time. since everybody else is now into Facebook. i looked through her pictures, i clicked the button Next, and Next, and Next. Hansel.(not real name) her ex boyfriend. i'm wondering how is he now. he's been a heartbroken dude. a very heartbroken guy. poor him. he's been hoping much on my besties. well, everybody was expecting their relationship will last for a long time. i was one of the people. 
remembering the old days, the two of them were inseparable. they really care for each other. enough saying that, they were like the Romeo and Juliet. they broke up early this year. i think. and Hansel turned to me for help to save his relationship with my besties.
well, i helped the best i can. i mean, through texting. we don't met. never face to face actually. but he recognised me. i gave him advices. and advices? he's so stressed out. and sometimes i caught myself stressed too. because i am troubled by other people's trouble. but believe me, i am ready to help my friends anytime. but please at the right time, i hate it if my sleep time is being disturbed. 
i kept on telling Hansel to move on with his life without my besties, but he just can't. 
i know it must be hard to let go someone you loved so dearly, especially when you have given and shared your life and gone through a lot of good and hard times with that somebody someone. who could ever forget that? he sacrificed a lot for my besties, and according to Hansel, he ever got beaten up by my besties's brother for sleeping in with her. and they both had promised each other to stick together through times.
but ever since my besties moved to Kuching, she's completely a different person to Hansel.
umm, it's a long story to tell. but anyway, like i said, i helped the best i can.
Hansel got amazed of me advising him. like i've been so much experience like this. 
well, proud (?!) to say that, i never went through such situation as him! i must say that, i learned from other people's experience. especially from my brother. there is one time, my brother called me, telling me that he's not in the mood. and asked me to say something to cool him down. he's having problem with his girlfriend at that time. so, i tried advising him. telling him ; if you love her let her go, if she comes back to you, then she's yours. if she doesn't, then she doesn't belong to you. hey, sounds familiar?
well, actually this quote is sooo true. i truly agree. but i know, letting go of someone is hard to do.
back to Hansel, he stop contacting me months ago. i don't remember exactly when. 
i hope he will heal through times. and i hope he will found his true love of his life. and as to my besties,
 i hope she's free from other people's curse or whatever it is. i will pray for Hansel and my besties best of luck for their future life.

i don't want you no more

ugh! like it or not, i have to be at the same class with that jerk.
it's now impossible for me to consider him as friend like i used to before we're engaged on our previous unofficial relationship.
shyt. now i know the real him, anyway, i'm thankful for giving me the opportunity to know him better.
i noticed that he used to comment on my friend's status on Facebook. mm, he never comment on me.
pfft. boys. boys will always be boys.
luckily we never kissed. EEEWWWW!! that would leave a "scar" to me for the whole life. yikes. thank God. (x ingin aku mok kiss ngan nya doh! x penah ku minta, it NEVER crossed my mind.
now, for a temporary of period, i'm not using my Celcom number, but instead i'm using my DiGi number. to prevent him of contacting me. who knows, just in case. 
i don't want to ever had anything to do with him. anymore. so, bubye. 

another craps

i just got back after 3 days away from my laptop. it's so tiring, straight from Mukah to Brunei. then the next day we went back to our hometown, Limbang. and the next day that is yesterday, we went to Miri and spend the night there at my brother's house. we had a good time there, went to e-mart, had our dinner somewhere near the Servay and went to Parkson. there, at Popular, i met my long time besties and ex-manager, Zairin! it's been a year since i last met him. kinda miss the old days. then, we did some shoppings there. then we went back home to my brother's at 9.30pm. then, this morning, we departed from my brother's house at 8 am. and we reached home around 4.30pm.


when i checked on my blog, my Feedjit shows that i got readers from Makati (Manila), Singapore, Wilkes Barre (Pennsylvania), Auckland, Melbourne (Victoria), London, Martinsville (New Jersey). 


O--MY--GOSH. *drop jaw* 
who are these peoples? i'm surprised! last time, i got readers from Ohio, California, Staffordshire, Saudi Arabia, Colorado. etc. wow!
thanks for the minutes you guys had wasted on reading my so called blog. have a great day!

Back into their arms

yay! safely arrived MKH right at 9 am. thank God for the safe journey. phew.
i'm thrilled and worried at the same time, well, yeah the last time Dad called me, he's obviously not pleased with my last semester result. so, i'm afraid with that and yet had to prepare for that. 
but somehow, i got away with it. HAHA. thank you Dad. he only asked me; " so, you had to repeat all two subjects that you had failed? " with an average normal tone. 
phew! then, he asked about my stay there. i had to tell him the truth, so that i will not get into problems in the future.
better now than never. i told him, i had moved out from the first house and instead rent a room with my friends.
he's not angry at all. thank you so much for being mucho mucho understanding and sporting. HUGS
Dad, you're the best in my whole life. Love you!

FCUK YOU Bi+Ch

GAHHH!! and you call youself a FRIEND??! 
shit! next time i'll pay you back. don't worry! 
there'll be a time. DAMN! 
kutuk bono. terpaksa jak ku stay maya anak kimu tey. 
limbas bono eh. maus!! kalau nyugut genao ku, smilau dah tuntut raat ku.
ngintai ao adau mo kilak. >:(
buduh! rusak mood ku. malas ku ngelayan kau kila. 
fcuk you bi+ch!

miserable is me

aaww shit! my google chrome has crashed. damn it. i tried to uninstall and reinstall it back. but it didn't  work! shit hundreds time. ugh! Google, how could you do this to me? now i am left miserable with Internet Explorer. and i'm sure you know well how much i hated Firefox. and oh, i forgot to mention, Internet Eplorer isnt being nice with me. i hardly can type properly. damn that thg is tryig to make me look rtrd! :( loookk wat i ttype! shuit.! stupid internet exprer. i alreay press hard to type, but still some lettr is missing. bodooo!!

ah yeah, i'm pissed off right now. i really really cant live my life like this without google chrome. but, anyway, imma tell ya, what i do today which is has nting to do with me being dumpd by google chrome.,
p/s : my typing is the caused from internet explorer attempt on makig me look retard.
i went out tody. with my friends. we went to satok. i met him accidentally. twice. damn.
i thought he was calling out my name. but i didn't look back. who cares. we are on unofficial relatioship.
i hope to move away from Demak a.s.a.p so that we could end this. me and him aren't going anywhere. AKU SKANDAL.
get it? that's what i am to you. and that's wht you are to me too honey.
ah yes, how can i forgot that you are the one who made us who are we today. you are the one that asked me to become your so called .. whatever .
let's call this off soon, okay?

am  still pissed off over google chrome for dumping me.,

is Safe and Sound

oh..great. finally arrived Kuch at 7 pm. pergh. departed from Mukah at 7.30 am. it's a long journey. and a cold one. next time i'll make sure i doubled my shirt when i board on bus. sampe jak d terminal Kuch marek, nang terus menggigil and tketar2 gigi ku, sejuk ilak, aku nang x tahan sejuk. lemak jak banyak. huehuehue. and what's more importantly, ku dah sampe umah baru ku. :)