if it hurts

i'm completely lost. i'm all about that peer issues. seriously.
i don't know la. or maybe it was just me.
i'm very silent these few days. i don't talk a lot, especially to this one friend. *sigh
she were speaking as if i'm invisible, and that she can see right through me.
i even start to wonder if i'm alive. last time, they were planning on an outing. they just planned on without hearing from me. 
but i know i won't be left alone, and i know how awkward it would be if i go out with them.
and thanks to my other friend who's staying at the hostel, at least i got company.
and the day were just me and her. we went to other place without THEM.
i actually almost gave up, you see, as in my previous post, i'm not happy. 
for now, i can't seem to turn to my so-called friends room mates. 
can i blame them? or should i blame myself?
to be true, i'm not angry, not pissed, or hurt at all. i just don't understand them.
seriously i'm worried. 
i don't know why and what is the point of being worried.
i'm too a bit frustrated being treated like this. imagine, we have the same class and i waited at the college, sit all by myself with headphones stuck on my ears looking at people like an idiot for two hours for class to start as well waiting for them to come but they didn't. and what makes it even worse is that i know it from a friend and i weren't inform of their absence by themselves.  great. just great.
what's the point of keeping my number then if they didn't even bother to text me and tell me anything about it?
yeah, i'm frustrated. but no, i'm not pissed, just frustrated.
thanks, for the hint-like. i got it. my previous post is linked to this post. it's related.
that's why i googled for uni's and colleges and jobs last night.
gosh, i don't know how long can i put up with this.
i need signs. i need someone who can inspire me, someone who has the aura of uplifting my spirit. i need someone who can speak to me and tell me something good.
lately, i've spent a lot of my time alone and thinking to myself.
*sighh..lotsa thoughts running..