if it hurts

i'm completely lost. i'm all about that peer issues. seriously.
i don't know la. or maybe it was just me.
i'm very silent these few days. i don't talk a lot, especially to this one friend. *sigh
she were speaking as if i'm invisible, and that she can see right through me.
i even start to wonder if i'm alive. last time, they were planning on an outing. they just planned on without hearing from me. 
but i know i won't be left alone, and i know how awkward it would be if i go out with them.
and thanks to my other friend who's staying at the hostel, at least i got company.
and the day were just me and her. we went to other place without THEM.
i actually almost gave up, you see, as in my previous post, i'm not happy. 
for now, i can't seem to turn to my so-called friends room mates. 
can i blame them? or should i blame myself?
to be true, i'm not angry, not pissed, or hurt at all. i just don't understand them.
seriously i'm worried. 
i don't know why and what is the point of being worried.
i'm too a bit frustrated being treated like this. imagine, we have the same class and i waited at the college, sit all by myself with headphones stuck on my ears looking at people like an idiot for two hours for class to start as well waiting for them to come but they didn't. and what makes it even worse is that i know it from a friend and i weren't inform of their absence by themselves.  great. just great.
what's the point of keeping my number then if they didn't even bother to text me and tell me anything about it?
yeah, i'm frustrated. but no, i'm not pissed, just frustrated.
thanks, for the hint-like. i got it. my previous post is linked to this post. it's related.
that's why i googled for uni's and colleges and jobs last night.
gosh, i don't know how long can i put up with this.
i need signs. i need someone who can inspire me, someone who has the aura of uplifting my spirit. i need someone who can speak to me and tell me something good.
lately, i've spent a lot of my time alone and thinking to myself.
*sighh..lotsa thoughts running..

i say blah blah blah

it's been time since my last post, and i haven't post anything for this October. 
the truth is that, i'm a bit lazy to post anything now.
last Sunday, i went to tHe Spring. YAY! i went there with Hamizah. and it's been time too since we last hang out together, so i'm really glad that we can go out together that day.

well, ya know, we went for a movie there at MBO, then just walk around there, and of course, i couldn't miss out ; Big Apple Donut! yummy. 
while we were enjoying our donuts there, i saw this guy, wearing yellow football t-shirt. i never met him before, but i think i know him. yes, i know him because i had him in my Facebook friend list. gahh!
talking about friend list. i had removed a few peoples from mine. and which kinda puzzle me is that, i was removed too by this guy. i don't know why. i thought he made a new account. but no, he obviously removed me. whatever the reason is, i don't give a damn and i never offended anyone including him. it's his account, so he can add/remove whoever he want to.
who am i to piss off for being removed. 
okay, frankly now, i don't care if anyone wants to remove me from their friend list, well, yeah, since we don't really comment, wish or whatever things on our wall. 
even we bump into each other, do we really say Hi ? we don't even flash a smile.
to some people, all they care of is to add many friends as possible. 
me? well, i used to add people too, but now i realized, what's the point of adding people you barely know, or total stranger? do we really want to get to know each other?
simply take the example of my birthday, at that time, i have 970+ friends on friend list.
but how many of them who wished me on my birthday? 
out of 970+ friends, only 60. where's the other 910+ friends?
well, i don't really mad or pissed or frustrated. but the thing is, what is the real point of having too many friends on Facebook? do you really are friends with all who added you/you  had added? no, right?
they only want to be friends on Facebook, not in real life.
have they ever comment on my status? have they ever comment on my pictures? have they ever write on my wall? have they ever wish me Happy birthday? have they ever.. nothing!
pergh. well, they were quite lucky since i'm going to let them stay parasiting on my page. because i'm too lazy doing all the deletion. now, i seriously would not add anyone ever again. except the people i really know. but i would still approving friends request if any.