ugh! disgusted!

something just crossed my mind. i thought of removing my comments on his pictures.
i really forgot about that. damn. so, i search for him, and ugh, i really can't stand looking at his pics. so i scrolled through his album, which i remembered i had ever commented. 
o-my-gaga. ugh!+EEEWW! i really got disgusted with his pictures! no, there's nothing obscene or disgusting, but idk, i just sooo DISGUSTED! man! ugh, what the heck had i been thinking all this time!
eeww, what a taste you have there MAR! i can't believe that!
anyway, my plan of try deleting my comments on his FAILED! duuh! 
and i just remembered, tomorrow i have to be at the same class with that jerk.
damn it. =.="
ooh! BREAKING NEWS!
i just heard that he wanted to quit! YIPPIE! shooh! away from here! HAHA
i'm hoping for it.
you know what? i'll be the happiest girl in the world if he ever quit from here!
oh man, i can't wait till the day he's gone. :P
anyway, am still disgusted! ugh.

another Quote

~" if someone seriously wants to be part of your life, 

they will seriously make an effort to be in it " ~

AGAIN

again, i did the stupidest, craziest, coolest, thing. i just removed someone from my list. 
yeah you tell me. whether it is the nicest thing to do or instead. i saw his post just now on my news feed. then i thought of removing him. ah-ha! tink! OR, better yet, *a light bulb lighten up-just came out with a much brilliant idea* BLOCK him . geez. i sound mean.
huahuahua~ like i give a flying eff! :p
oh, before i became a forgetful me, he has another FB account. mm, that one i'll just let him pass. but sometime later i would remove him too.
uh oh. somebody here is having an issues! ;) i never wanna to talk to him ever again.
*girl, you are really having an issues right now*
what the heck?! HAHAHA, since FB is a part of my life now *cough* only 1/8 part of me, so, i need to quickly remove him from my life even he rarely go online. 
well, he's too annoying that i lose my focus.
anyway, there's always rainbow after rain. *is it raining here? someone has started to feel blue? :/ 
gah! there's nothing to be sad of. hey, *chin myself up* this is me. i know who i am. i know guys like that don't worth my time. at all! remember when i said, "he is just something to keep me busy" and i'm not that textually active person, so i don't even care if my phone doesn't ring for the whole month! seriously!
HAHA, no joke man. i'm dead serious about that. try me.
mm, oh ok, i'm ready for bed time now. good night all you stalker.

DUDES in my life & of my life (or is it the same?)

DUDES! who the heck were they? well, i can't really mention their names in here. because i know now that someone has been stalking my blogs! You know who you are, right dude? *tap you on the shoulder* ;)
HAHAHA, you're reading my lotsa craps.
anyway, idk exactly what kind of dudes i wanna to talk about. 
recently, there is this Pinoy dude, who added me not long ago, asked me to become his girlfriend. i seriously laughed my ass off! lol. well, this Pinoy dude name is, .. .. mm, enough saying that we share the same 2nd name. :D
and too unlucky for that Pinoy dude, since i'm using Googie *cough*-Google Chrome, i had installed Facebook Chat History as my Googie extension. 
so, all of my chat history will be saved.
uh, have i mentioned AUTOMATICALLY? yes, whether i want it or not, it will saved on its own. so, be careful with your sayings. i can always check back our chat history. ^_^
so here is; 

i'm speechless and laughed my ass off!

uh, no? you don't think it's funny? at all?

well, no offense here. really. 
i'm bored, so i need to something to laugh of. :/
and there is another dude, i think from Pakistan, he claimed that his mother is local citizen, from Kuching. uh-huh? like i care?
i'm going to remove him soon. i'm sick of receiving friend requests with no mutual friends.(if you happen to read this) hey! don't remove me yet!
Likes in common would be fine, ya know, pages like Catholic Church, Picnik, and all that on Facebook. so, i don't really mind at all, if you find me through fan pages.
and by the way, long distance relationship won't work okay? 
and most important point of all, i'm not yet in the mood for L.O.V.E.
yes, i'm not interested. or better yet, don't even think of trying so hard. even if you look so dead gorgeous. 
man! i sounded like the princess! HAHAHA. lol. jual mahal kunu.
not because i'm sick of love stuffs and all that, i just don't think it's time.
so, fellas would be fine for me. don't even think of . . just don't.
ya know, like when you go to stores, i'm on display, but i'm not put up for sale. i belong to the stores owner.


mmm. hey, i thought we wanna talk about dudes in my life and of my life?
well, they're not in my life anyway. 
i guess, it ends here. 

told ya

naah. see. told ya! (or haven't i?)

*drop jaw*

you are tiring me

ugh! this is truly sucks! damn it. student life sounds fun, but it's so tiring especially when you're with ____ like 24/7.
pergh! again, i shall say this, I HATE BEING WITH CAREFREE PEOPLE!
stranded with this bunch of carefree people, man, one of the biggest mistake i ever made.
seriously. HELLO HELLO! this girl need your attention CAREFREE PEOPLE!
i thought of quitting from college. before college could drop me out of there. HAHA.
no, i'm serious about my studies. i don't want to quit a QUITTER because i didn't do well, but i want to quit because i get other better opportunity.
i haven't found my true match yet, since Juennie.
well, my current friends are nice. -sometimes
o my gosh, look! seems like somebody here is having her peer issues!
maybe because to our difference of age.
i'm tired, i'm bored, i'm sick! i wish i could join Eve at KLIA there. oopsie!
she just got a job there with MAS Airlines.
meanwhile for me ; still waiting for the best thing to happen in my life.
*duh! my life sounded sucks!*

Soon - Brooke Fraser (Hillsong United)

hey, i am excited to share this on my blog. the first time i clicked and i listened to it, i quickly fell in love with this song. feel free to give it a listen, i guarantee you, it's a very nice and a beautiful song sung by a heavenly voice. :) you'll be captivated.

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him
I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
I'll be going To the place
He has prepared for me
There my sin erased
My shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
See the procession
The angels and the elders
'Round the throne At His feet I
'll lay my crowns My worship
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb
The Lord of heaven

okay another post

i just flipped through my besties @ my long time childhood friend's Friendster profile. 
she's been inactive for quite a long time. well, who doesn't. i too have been inactive for a long time. since everybody else is now into Facebook. i looked through her pictures, i clicked the button Next, and Next, and Next. Hansel.(not real name) her ex boyfriend. i'm wondering how is he now. he's been a heartbroken dude. a very heartbroken guy. poor him. he's been hoping much on my besties. well, everybody was expecting their relationship will last for a long time. i was one of the people. 
remembering the old days, the two of them were inseparable. they really care for each other. enough saying that, they were like the Romeo and Juliet. they broke up early this year. i think. and Hansel turned to me for help to save his relationship with my besties.
well, i helped the best i can. i mean, through texting. we don't met. never face to face actually. but he recognised me. i gave him advices. and advices? he's so stressed out. and sometimes i caught myself stressed too. because i am troubled by other people's trouble. but believe me, i am ready to help my friends anytime. but please at the right time, i hate it if my sleep time is being disturbed. 
i kept on telling Hansel to move on with his life without my besties, but he just can't. 
i know it must be hard to let go someone you loved so dearly, especially when you have given and shared your life and gone through a lot of good and hard times with that somebody someone. who could ever forget that? he sacrificed a lot for my besties, and according to Hansel, he ever got beaten up by my besties's brother for sleeping in with her. and they both had promised each other to stick together through times.
but ever since my besties moved to Kuching, she's completely a different person to Hansel.
umm, it's a long story to tell. but anyway, like i said, i helped the best i can.
Hansel got amazed of me advising him. like i've been so much experience like this. 
well, proud (?!) to say that, i never went through such situation as him! i must say that, i learned from other people's experience. especially from my brother. there is one time, my brother called me, telling me that he's not in the mood. and asked me to say something to cool him down. he's having problem with his girlfriend at that time. so, i tried advising him. telling him ; if you love her let her go, if she comes back to you, then she's yours. if she doesn't, then she doesn't belong to you. hey, sounds familiar?
well, actually this quote is sooo true. i truly agree. but i know, letting go of someone is hard to do.
back to Hansel, he stop contacting me months ago. i don't remember exactly when. 
i hope he will heal through times. and i hope he will found his true love of his life. and as to my besties,
 i hope she's free from other people's curse or whatever it is. i will pray for Hansel and my besties best of luck for their future life.

i've been thinking

i've been thinking (if you've been thinking) on my previous post, unofficial relationship? 
what if it's official??
naah. if he had asked me to be his girlfriend, i know i will reject him. cause i know well, that i am so not ready. no. not with a guy like him. he could be anything, but for sure, not a boyfie to me.


lol. i give it too much thought, didn't i?

BITCH or FRIEND

i choose BITCH. - the perfect term for whoever doesn't treat their friends nice.
only when you're in trouble then you will come and seeking for my help. pfft!
when you're planning on of having fun, you simply forget me and this one friend. 
you just went out like that as if we're invisible. we are your house mate you fool!
i'm tired living with people like you. very tired. you know you're on your period, but still you don't keep cleanliness and hygienic of yourself. what a shame. 
you're a girl! and you're "BLEEDING". can't you think? pfft!
ugh! don't your mother teach you any manners? oh gosh. that's very shameful.
and yeah, about your posting on Facebook, there's no need to remind us in every status update. we get it. you have a boyfriend. and we don't effking give a damn. okey.

i don't want you no more

ugh! like it or not, i have to be at the same class with that jerk.
it's now impossible for me to consider him as friend like i used to before we're engaged on our previous unofficial relationship.
shyt. now i know the real him, anyway, i'm thankful for giving me the opportunity to know him better.
i noticed that he used to comment on my friend's status on Facebook. mm, he never comment on me.
pfft. boys. boys will always be boys.
luckily we never kissed. EEEWWWW!! that would leave a "scar" to me for the whole life. yikes. thank God. (x ingin aku mok kiss ngan nya doh! x penah ku minta, it NEVER crossed my mind.
now, for a temporary of period, i'm not using my Celcom number, but instead i'm using my DiGi number. to prevent him of contacting me. who knows, just in case. 
i don't want to ever had anything to do with him. anymore. so, bubye. 

hey, we're now advanced

lol. it's kinda funny when i see kids have a Facebook account of their own. imagine, my 9 years old brother also know how to use Facebook. but he don't really care much about his FB. and to my not-really-surprised, his school friends also have their FB accounts.
well, everyone is into FB now. it might be so wrong if you don't have one. 
i know this boy, from my sister. he's in love with my sister actually. 
still in his primary school. * i just sent him a private message asking how old is he, and he replied giving me a math questions, pfft*
he's in Primary 5 same as my sister. and also, he just sent me a relationship request, requesting to list me as his sister. pfft! kids!
this really pulling my legs. HAHAHAHA. kids nowadays are very spoiled. 
in fact, they are more lucky and advanced than how our times before. lol.
at their primary school, they had already own a handphone. back in our years, it's not that easy to own one, except for the rich kids. yeah, simply because their parents are really rich. 
i owned my first handphone, just before i was sitting for my SPM exam. but a cheap one of course. -.-'
Nokia 1600. well, that is all my family can afford me. i should be grateful. at least i can easily get in contact with my friends. my 2nd handphone was a Nokia too, 3110c. and yay to me, i bought it with my own money. 
i think it was 3rd month salary money. then, my 3rd phone is, SE K618i. i lost it 2 days after my birthday last year. *sigh* though not so cool phone, but i still miss it. :( my next phone is Nokia (again) and now i seriously forgot what type of model it is. i still owned it til now. and my current phone is, SE G900 that i bought last January.
kids nowadays are very lucky. simply take the example of my 9 year old brother. he get his first phone Sony W302 at the age of 8. yes, at the age of 8. and yes, a walkman phone.
pfft. every kids can afford one now. back in my years, it would be so cool if you own one. 
anyway, i hope they will not become so spoiled since everybody can now afford a hand phone at a very young age, and even a laptop since everybody is now into Facebook. *i'm sooo not that into FB anymore*

Jackson 5 - I'll Be There

i just love the song the first time i heard it. this is so sweet. 
" i'll be there "

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

[Chorus:]
And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on - yes I will, yes I will

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love I respect you
Just call my name and I'll be there

[Chorus]

If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cos if he doesn't, I'll be there

Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - ooh)

I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there

Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah

going back

seriously i now realized that my life in Kuching is waaaaay so different than my life back at home where i was with my family. 
i really wished i never had to go back here to Kuching. my life here is boring!
back at home (Mukah), i forgot that i had another life here. for a moment, i forgot everything. 
i forgot Kuching, i forgot that i hold the ***** college's student ID card. 
i forgot that i know this guy that i have relationship with that has to be kept secret. (which is now remained as history that never should be remember of!)
i just forget everything.
i really wished . . . . *sigh*
but now, i'm officially back to my life in Kuching.
ugh! i miss my brother, Luis. he brighten up my day.
Lord, could You please remind me each day that i'm doing this for the sake of my parents and my future?
Could You please pull me up whenever i am down and be there whenever i feel ignored?
Could You please let me know that there is still somebody who actually cares about me?
Could You please let me know that i'm worth more than everything else in this world and that i am too Your special creation?

sometimes i wondered, if anyone ever noticed me. 
hello? i'm martina. and you are . . ?
" i am patiently waiting for the best things to happen in my life "
when? will there be? don't let me get tired. please?

another craps

i just got back after 3 days away from my laptop. it's so tiring, straight from Mukah to Brunei. then the next day we went back to our hometown, Limbang. and the next day that is yesterday, we went to Miri and spend the night there at my brother's house. we had a good time there, went to e-mart, had our dinner somewhere near the Servay and went to Parkson. there, at Popular, i met my long time besties and ex-manager, Zairin! it's been a year since i last met him. kinda miss the old days. then, we did some shoppings there. then we went back home to my brother's at 9.30pm. then, this morning, we departed from my brother's house at 8 am. and we reached home around 4.30pm.


when i checked on my blog, my Feedjit shows that i got readers from Makati (Manila), Singapore, Wilkes Barre (Pennsylvania), Auckland, Melbourne (Victoria), London, Martinsville (New Jersey). 


O--MY--GOSH. *drop jaw* 
who are these peoples? i'm surprised! last time, i got readers from Ohio, California, Staffordshire, Saudi Arabia, Colorado. etc. wow!
thanks for the minutes you guys had wasted on reading my so called blog. have a great day!

i can't live without you

i just got to know myself quite well last Thursday. for the first time ever, i realized i could go crazy had i not shampoo my hair. my temper would rise, and my patience meter would cross the limit.
me and family spent the night (16 Sept, Thursday) at my grandmother's half brother somewhere not near and not too far from Gadong @ idk where, after we visited my uncle at the Ripas Hospital. ya, we went to Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei Darussalam. 
mind to say that, i saw this cutie at the same level where my uncle was warded. pergh. speechless. wish i was born as Brunei citizen. *grin*
we reached our grandmother's half brother @ grandfather 's house around 11.35pm something.
i'm normal so by nature, i wanted to have my bath, i asked my mom if she did bring shampoo, unfortunately NO!
aww. snap! i'm quite pissed angry like crazy (in my heart of course) thinking how am i supposed to go to sleep if i had not shampoo my hair? then, dad added extra tension to me, he asked me to scratched his backs! ugh! it's so freaking dumb! but i scratched anyway.
that made me thinking then, shampoo is now listed as things i really need to survive. hp's?
i would say NO. seriously. i really don't need them. yeah, it would be cool if i own a BlackBerry. but no, thanks. i really think HYGIENE is more important to me. and i seriously don't texting much. WHOEVER it is. 
so, now i know that HYGIENE helps me to survive, what about you?

the real holiday begin. NOW

haha. will be off to MYY and Brunei tomorrow, sending off my grandmother and my ungrateful sister. geez. i sounded mean. am i? and yeah, our main reason why we are travelling tomorrow is, my grandmother's eldest children that is my uncle, has been warded in hospital at Brunei. so, we will be visiting him tomorrow. 
how i wish my grandmother stay just a little bit longer here. oh yeah, there's more about my family news. my 15 month old niece also have been diagnose with heart problems. poor little thing. 
anyway, i'm just too excited to visit MYY. mind me. *grin*
and yeah, also i will be visiting my hometown too, LMN. 

okay that's my family, except that my eldest sibling; my brother & my ungrateful sister *cough* is not here with us. but here is a pic of him.

okay, that's that. need to have my meal now.

oh wait, by the way, my Feedjit shows me that i got visitors reading my blogs *more like talking about craps actually* from Benguet (Philippine), Ipoh (Perak), Makati (Manila, Philippine), Alamosa (Colorado), Saudi Arabia, Halosawen (Staffordshire), Mount Gilead (Ohio), Sunnyvale (California), ??? wow! i wonder who is this people. probably my Facebook friends. thanks for the minutes you had wasted on reading my so-called blogs. HAHA. CHEERS!

sick!

Grr! this broadband is really sick.
i'm totally sick of it!
and added by this ungrateful girl living in the same house as we do.
i really get sick. pergh. i hate her. seriously.
some people just have no shame. which is no surprise.
pfft kids. i'm sick seeing her doing nothing like she's the queen. 
ahh! BENCI! ok. now i'm reminded that Hate is a sin.
i just couldn't help myself. she's really a pain in the arse.
bengang ku doe! nang sik sedar dirik alu. dah la senang2 jak minta top-up, pa jak di polah nya di rumah tok?
 nya tok sapa? dah la minta top-up, duduk2 goyang kaki jak di rumah.
sik penah mok mhargai apa di beri oleh parent. soon, our parent will no longer be your parent. 
O MY GOSH! THIS IS FREAKING SICK! i just don't know her anymore. she became someone i knew. she's a stranger to my family now. Good luck with your future, once you left us, there will be no more us. 
POOF! buhbye. please don't come looking for us ever. you're on your own now.
eey! geram aih pikir sal mpuan tok. adik aku kah tok?? rela ku diam ngan adik yang cacat dari ku diam ngan adik yang normal tapi sik pande guna otak. orang nego pun dah melenting. nang sik boleh di tego.
eran. pegi gereja pun sik mok. kena rasuk ka apa?
kali nya pikir kamek org tok anok nya saja2 mok nyakit ati nya bha. nya sik pikir kamek orang tok macam ney. kamek orang tok lagi bengang dari nya. jaoh lam ati, kamek orang kecewa bha! aduinaaa. nda tau mau bilang apa suda ni. cakap teda guna sudah. tapi makin lama dia ada sama kami urang sini, makin sia sakit ati tengok dia.

Addiction

got a new addiction. blogshopping. woot! and i'm dying to buy a blazer. just like yours! and yours and yours.
ugh. i was wondering where i could get it in KCH?
how stylo is this not to get it??

i really want those so bad!!

i actually can buy it from online stores like i usually did before, but i just couldn't wait any longer! 

i want it right now right here. mmm, KCH is such a big city, but i have no idea if there is possibility i could get it there.  

no guarantee. ugh. i wanted to buy from online stores but, the thing is, i had to wait until end of this year, only then i can wear it. because i had to use my MKH address, my dad's office address.

guess i hafta pray a lot so that i'll found one in KCH. gah! -,-

and ooh! i want this jeggings too. :) how cool is that? *wink

Back into their arms

yay! safely arrived MKH right at 9 am. thank God for the safe journey. phew.
i'm thrilled and worried at the same time, well, yeah the last time Dad called me, he's obviously not pleased with my last semester result. so, i'm afraid with that and yet had to prepare for that. 
but somehow, i got away with it. HAHA. thank you Dad. he only asked me; " so, you had to repeat all two subjects that you had failed? " with an average normal tone. 
phew! then, he asked about my stay there. i had to tell him the truth, so that i will not get into problems in the future.
better now than never. i told him, i had moved out from the first house and instead rent a room with my friends.
he's not angry at all. thank you so much for being mucho mucho understanding and sporting. HUGS
Dad, you're the best in my whole life. Love you!

FCUK YOU Bi+Ch

GAHHH!! and you call youself a FRIEND??! 
shit! next time i'll pay you back. don't worry! 
there'll be a time. DAMN! 
kutuk bono. terpaksa jak ku stay maya anak kimu tey. 
limbas bono eh. maus!! kalau nyugut genao ku, smilau dah tuntut raat ku.
ngintai ao adau mo kilak. >:(
buduh! rusak mood ku. malas ku ngelayan kau kila. 
fcuk you bi+ch!

in memory

BoBo the Cat in memory

picture of my beloved brother with our R.I.P pet, BoBo

holiday again!

yippie! will off for two weeks holiday starting tomorrow after my last exam. -,-
will leave KCH tomorrow night at 10pm (or is it 9pm?) but seriously, i don't feel thrilled or excited of going back home. but i do mucho mucho miss my family. 
anyway. 
i will not post any more about my so called relationship sca . . you spell it out. 
no más. entender? you're just a waste of time. 
oh yeah. sure. you're just something to keep me busy. something to keep me wasting time.
i'm not that serious with you. and i'm sure, so are you with me.
so, i hope we can call this off soon. - okay, no más.


HOLIDAY! - gonna bring along some books to study at home during this two weeks holiday. 
i had to pretend that i'm studying in front of Dad. or else, both my ears is going to bleed. HAHA. seriously
oh yeah. i can't help myself but next week is my BIRTHDAY! yay to me! :)


oh yeah! GOOD NEWS!
i got back together with Google Chrome again! hoorey! with it new self!
i installed new extensions to Googie; Facebook Chat History Manager and Facebook. 
kinda miss Googie. <3
Googie knows that i don't get along well with Firefox. 
Googie please don't ever leave me again. okay? Love You Googie.